For me part of dealing with depression, anxiety and weight issues means I need to learn to have integrity to myself. I owe my self to be honest when things just aren't going right and to dig into what caused things to go wrong then find ways to fix it.
Confession time:
For about 3 weeks I haven't been taking the meds
that help me keep my emotions in check. Why you might ask? Well to be honest I
felt strong enough to do it on my own without them controlling my mind. There is the old adage that says the best recipe for mental illness is physical activity. I've been having much more physical activity lately and bygone it was time for my head to join in on the fun.
When I first started taking the medicine it was great because I helped provide a buffer for my emotions and mind, it was like going bumper bowling for my feelings. Through the process of change I felt
like my mental weaknesses were a matter of my body over my mind meaning. To me that meant that if I was looking and
feeling as great as I was then in could be in control of my own mind. I WAS
WRONG!
Since my last weigh in over been on a slippery slope downhill in almost
all aspects of my life. I want to make excuses like it wasn't the numbers that I had hoped it would be, how busy I've been, etc. but really it's 100% on me. This is my journey and no one can take it for me, I have to take it for myself.
This weekend being surrounded by family for 3 days had
me terrified of what people would see in me or say. Part of my worse fears came true, no one, not a single person
said shit to me about how I looked, how things were going or how proud of me
they were. It's not there fault I'm off me meds so I'm more prone to feeling
upset by these things but it hurt. I've been lucky to have a very supportive wife and a mother who constantly talks to me about it, but damn it I want others to be vocal.
I guess I need to shake it off, tighten down
the boot straps and kick some ass again. #whatsyourwhy #bethechangeyouwanttosee
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